comfortable silence

Last night my love and I decided to go out for dinner. After post-work errands around Queens we were heading home and still had not come up with any idea of what to do for dinner. At that point, and at the helm of our fun new wheels, I decided to make the executive decision to take us out for an impromptu "date night". Fatty's Cafe in Astoria is a fave of ours not only for the food but also the owners and staff (now our good friends) and general ambiance makes us feel very comfortable. Our first dinner date was at Fatty's years ago and we always say we should eat there more often; it's true. Zig sent out a message about the new menu and the ability to now accept credit cards and that was pretty much all the excuse I needed. Even though we typically make some serious grub here in our little house I was feeling pretty uninspired and definitely not in the mood to do dishes. I proposed the idea, my love said "sure", and I hit the gas. We feasted on steak and frites and chicken mole after a yum salad and some empenadas. The Jamesons went to my head after such a long day of obsessing about work and the potential for change, and the buzz was perfectly welcome...

...and then we sat in silence. We listened to the sounds and the people, sometimes the specifics, sometimes just the energy of the chatter. Of course, by this point a day later I don't remember any of it, other than the fact that we were very entertained. Other couples were on dates, quick to make conversation. A deuce to my right had called a third to join them and they were all gabbing away over plates of food and cocktails. We caught each other eavesdropping and gave each other guilty smiles. My love and I can sit in silence and enjoy the passing of the world around us for what seems like hours. We have always related so well to each other, and we are both very fortunate and thankful to have this love. I don't even remember much awkward silence during those first few dates way back when. Returning to the moment, my love hit the nail on the head. "It's so great" she said, "it's like inviting friends to dinner but you don't have to pay for them." We laughed out loud. I thought about another whiskey but remembered the drive home in the new car.

I forget that some people cannot or do not enjoy silence like we do. I am a huge fan of good comfortable silence. There is something about being able to be totally comfortable with someone to the point of not always needing to speak. I do, I love it. I come from a long line of great story tellers, but to sound perfectly cliched, you do have to be a good listener to be a good story teller. My folks are both great eavesdroppers and great story tellers and I hope I've adopted their gift. I think I'm getting there. Stories and lore are some of the best things ever in my opinion. They tell us about our society, our human nature, our relation to the world around us, and all that that can entail. You can listen to others and some times be able to relate better to yourself as a result.

I was leaving the office and in the elevator is a little digital screen that sucks everyones attention to it, thus killing conversation. The relatively useless factoid of the moment that came on-screen said that laughter is still one of the most unclear and mysterious of human behaviors. I was alone and chuckled to myself. Out of affirmation? Out of denial? I got on the subway. My headphones I had purposefully left at home today. I sat in silence, looking, listening, wondering if there might be an answer in the eyes or words of those around me.

On the stereo: U2, Boy